Follow your heart…

I have a lot to talk about…at all times!  As a child, I had a lot to say and a lot of questions. As a teenager, I can almost bet I never had a boyfriend mostly because I never shut my mouth and as an adult, when I can get away from the kids and actually have an adult conversation, I know the person on the receiving end of our conversation goes away with wondering how strong the winds were that just hit them!!  “Honestly, if you could just hear all the thoughts that go through my head you would see that I leave so much unsaid” I tell my husband.  Even my prayers go on and on!  Now, there has to be a reason I was blessed with such a powerful gift as this so called “chatterbox” as I have been called a time or two.

When I discovered the blogging world about 3 years ago I was extremely interested in the opportunity to share some of my thoughts.  I read blogs from many inspiring speakers, preachers, authors, and money saving geniuses but I think my most favorite blogs were the regular everyday moms that were honest. They were vulnerable with their fears, hopes and happenings of their day.  It was encouraging and refreshing.

So, I started a blog.  I started a free blogger account and went blindfolded into the world of the blogging mom. I didn’t research what I was doing. I didn’t study how to write a good post or how to have a successful blog.  I sat down and I wrote my heart. I loved it. It was me, it was my children, it was my words.  somewhere in there I got busy, pregnant and insecure.  I know, weird mix!  Busy with my two precious growing girls who are only 21 month apart, pregnant with the happiest little boy I’ve ever met and insecure with thoughts of insignificance.  I did love blogging and at night, when it was quiet, many times my mind would drift to what I could write about. “Why?” I would ask myself.
“No one cares and what makes you think you could really encourage or inspire anyone with your silly words.”  I believed it and it was wrong.

I don’t say it was wrong because I’m anything special or because someone out there needs to read my words and they shall be saved!  I was wrong to believe it because my heart was telling me something different. Isn’t it funny how we trust our head over our heart sometimes.  I find a significance in the fact that we as Christians ask Jesus into our heart to live and not our head.  In the head is knowledge but in the heart is a relationship that includes feelings, passions and dreams. My heart was screaming out a passion and calling me to dream a little.

Ok, so blogging seems like a pretty silly dream , I know! It is so much more than that. My dream is to be used to encourage, to bring laughter and to help inspire. I’m a mom, a wife a daughter, a sister and most of all a child of God.  That’s a lot! There are so many blessings wrapped in those titles. I know many women who have the same titles. I also know we are tired, we feel unworthy or incapable, we want to scream, we want to cry, we want to laugh and we want to be quiet. We need to feel important, we need to feel loved, we need to know we are beautiful and that someone is thinking of us through the day. We need “thank yous”, we need hugs, we need a nap and we all know we want to pee ALONE!!

There have been a lot of changes in my life over the last 9 months. I won’t go into that right now (I  know you’re thinking, “THANK GOD!!”) but there has got to be a reason for this longing in my heart to write about it, to write about my days when I fee like giving up. When I am so full of joy that it feels like my heart will literally overflow, there’s a reason I wish I could get away just for a moment to share it with the world in hopes I can brighten someone’s day with hope. When I’m reading the Word or a devotion and I want to put it all down and share what God is telling me with a friend. I don’t know why God has put this passion in me but it’s there and I am going to stop believing that I don’t matter.  Stop believing that God doesn’t have some big plan for this dream and passion inside of me. I am going to start talking unapologetically! After all, it’s what I am best at!

So, here we go. After much prayer, asking God to show me exactly what steps to take first even down to what my blog would be called (because, lets face it, if it’s God laying it on your heart you want to give it your best and do it right), I am stepping out in faith. Faith that God will lead the right mom, wife, daughter or sister to exactly what she needs to hear.  Faith that God has a bigger picture than I do with this!

Do you have something you dream about when it gets quiet? (if your were lucky enough to find some quiet in your day!) When I say passion, what comes to mind?  Have you taken time to pursue it or have you set it aside? If you’re a mom, I know what you are thinking right now. No time, its a selfish desire, it’s silly….but really ask yourself, why do you desire it? “I will give you the desires of your heart” Do you believe God when He gave that promise, when He promised it TO YOU?  So, don’t push it away. I finally decided to take God up on that promise and I can’t wait to see what He has in store!

6 comments to Follow your heart…

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