Is the Romance Over?


Is the Romance Over?

Sitting on the couch, watching a movie trailer, my mind began to drift. The movie was just the kind I love; sappy romance, young love and passionate affection. Thinking back to when I first met Derrick, I remembered the feelings. One of my friends once described my friendship with derrick, before we were even dating, as passionate. We were. From the moment I met him, he caught my eye and once we started dating I couldn’t be near him enough (honestly, before we started dating I found every way I could to make contact with him.)

My husband always knew how to romance me. From the beginning, even when I was not “his”, he would leave flowers and my favorite candy in my drop box at college.  The words he would write in his letters would leave me reading them over and over until I fell asleep at night. He gave me gifts often, took me to my favorite places to eat and sang to me in soft whispers.

For the heart of an ultimate romantic, he was God’s gift!

I remember, after we were married, walking into our new apartment after work to a man fully dressed in suit and tie with a towel draped from his arm just like those fancy waiters at the top dollar restaurants. He had made dinner with candlelight and we enjoyed it together with sweet love songs in the background.

What happened, I thought to myself as the movie trailer ended. I miss that! When did it all stop and why?

I let myself sit and sulk for a moment, reliving all the memories I held so sweetly in my mind and heart, almost grieving the loss of them. Soon my husband walked through the door after a 12 hour shift with a bag from Wal-Mart in his hands. He said hello and walked back to our room. I got up to follow him, curious as to what he was doing.

Pulling out the contents he began to sprinkle scented powder on the floors and plugged in a fabreeze in my favorite scent.  Then he flashed a smile.

You see, I was newly pregnant with our fourth child and had been mentioning that the smell in the room was making me nauseated. He heard me and did something to relieve that from me.

I could have just thanked him and went on but I am so thankful that God opened my heart to see more through this act of service.

THIS is romance! 11 years into marriage, this is what true love looks like and this is what keeps us alive. It is the little things that I let pass me by so easily that, if I listen and watch, I will notice the true intimacy behind them.

When he brings home my favorite desserts because he knows it will make my whole night, when he leans over to pray with me after a long and stressful day, and when he tells the kids mommy is busy and then tells me to go lay down. Romance is during the pastor’s message, when we both feel the leading of the spirit and he squeezes my hand or when he tells his buddies on Xbox live about the amazing meal he is about to consume because his wife is an awesome cook.

Don’t get me wrong, the passionate kissing and eye gazing stares are still so important and we work to bring those in as much as we can, but in this stage of life, it is about something more. Romance becomes something so much deeper. It is about knowing your best friend so deeply that you know their needs and desires and you meet that for them.

Some days it may be a wink in the middle of chaos while making dinner. Maybe it is in the hand that reaches across the console of the car while the kids are singing Let it Go for the 100th time.  For us it is in finding one another’s feet between the sheets at night before we can fall asleep.

Romance can be alive in the tiny things that so perfectly display a maturing love.

Don’t let yourself miss a chance to act upon these times and like me, don’t lose sight of the beautiful and romantic love story that is still taking form right before your eyes. Yours may not look the same as it did in the beginning but as in anything that is  growing and thriving , romance matures and changes for the better. Enjoy the ride and don’t get off too early!


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