My Iphone was Poisoning Our Meal

 

 

My Iphone was Poisoning Our Meal

 

I love my iPhone. I won’t even lie about it. It is most always near me. Thanks to my iPhone I can take pictures of my gorgeous children and capture memories in an instant. A conversation is just a tap away using texts, email or social media. With my iPhone I am able to share my life with my family, friends and those who follow Raising Up Stones. I can find almost any answer to any question, set reminders for any time of day and even set an alarm to remind me that I need to get up from the nap I never actually get to take! My iPhone is very valuable and as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t know what I would do without it some days. I could totally survive, but it wouldn’t be as easy!

However, one day I looked around and realized it could also be the death of my family as I knew it. That may sound a little dramatic to you but in all reality, at the rate I was going, it could have. Let me explain…

Growing Up

I grew up in a family where meal time together wasn’t even a question. We sat around the table every night at almost the same time (except church nights) and ate together. Mom always made a nice dinner, dad would make us laugh,  mom or I would usually do something worth getting made fun of for (all in fun) and plans for the next day would be discussed. The dinner table was never quiet. I loved it. Lunch and breakfast were pretty much the same, also. There was nothing to distract us during this time and I am confident that our family is close mostly because of the time spent sitting at our four legged, loud table full of food and memories.

For My Family

Of course, I want the same for my own family. My little ones are still small so there is a lot of training going on at this time in our lives. You know, “sit down” “Please don’t brush your hair with your fork” “Mac, please stop singing that song over and over”  “Ember, if you hide your food on the floor behind your chair again…” Sawyer, don’t scream like a monster and stop feeding the dog!”  I’m sure, if you are a mom, you’ve said these phrases before and then some! Still, this time is precious and even though it seems they will never learn, they soak up this time of what should be uninterrupted family talks and laughter.

The Reality

One day though, I looked around and this is what I saw; Daddy and mommy on their phone, heads down. The girls were going crazy, acting hyper and jumping around. Sawyer was throwing food. My husband and I yelling out every few minutes, “Be quiet and eat your food. Sit down and stop that !!”  This was not what meal time was supposed to be!

It was as if God hit the pause button on this moment for me and said look around. I was so saddened by what was revealed to me. What was I doing? My kids are not being extra unruly because they are disobedient and need more discipline, they are begging for my attention right now. Isn’t this the time for us to grow together? How can we talk and communicate if our heads are buried in a completely different conversation that doesn’t include these precious ones that sit in front of us?

So easily our phones just become another part of us and I am guilty of bringing that into the most valuable times in my life; family meal time being one of the biggest ones! When I choose to dismiss my family and engage in other activities through my phone, I am poisoning something meant to be so special and valuable to the growth and framework of our relationship.

Making a Change

When I decided to leave my phone on the counter instead of on the table beside me , my eyes were opened to some things. I saw ways I could engage with my kids and use this time instead of waste it.

  • Talk about what we learned today. We love to go over letters we talked about, colors we used in our pictures or tell daddy all about a new lesson we learned.
  • Play silly games. At lunch, sometimes we play the “would you rather” game. The girls love it and our giggles make brother so much more pleasant. I ask “would you rather eat an ant or a fly.” or “would you rather play the piano or a violin”. You get the idea. I have been surprised with how quickly the girls picked the concept up and ran with it. Their questions always make me laugh!
  • Read books together. We love reading together and meal time is a perfect time for attentive minds and ears.
  • Ask questions. This is the perfect time to get to know your kids and even your spouse. Ask questions that need a full answer and not just a yes or no. “What was your favorite thing about today” “If you could be anything, what would you be and why” There are plenty of books and articles out there to help with asking questions and getting your family talking.

There are so many more ways you can interact together and the older our children get, the more I am sure I will find!

Don’t waste this time with your family. It may seem like a calm 30 minutes of your day where you can finally catch up on what is happening with your friends on social media or try to beat the next level on your game, but at what expense? All too soon you will be back at a table for two sitting across from one another or even possibly sitting alone. Please, don’t waste the years with a table full of giggle boxes, sticky hands and messy plates. Sit down your phone, embrace this time and make the moments count.

Family Meal Time is precious time

 

10 comments to My Iphone was Poisoning Our Meal

  • Interesting to read your post today as I too wrote about learning at the table. Thanks for the prompt to stay connected.
    One other time in our day where the phone is a distraction from family conversation is in the car. I am very upfront with my kids these days, some days they can have their own space in the car, some days let’s talk. We have to be intentional to grab all the opportunities we can to build our family.
    Belinda recently posted…10 Things we Learn at the Dinner TableMy Profile

    • So neat that you wrote one too! I read it and am sharing it over at my facebook page tomorrow! Thanks for your comment and yes, the car can be a distraction too! I am sure I will be seeing more of that as they get older.

  • Lux

    Hits home. How often do we take important things for granted and let technology and social media steal the special moments that matter?
    Good decision, Cassandra.
    Lux recently posted…3 Likeness Of Forgiveness And LoveMy Profile

  • Great post and great reminder to make our meal time intimate and void of technology.

  • Love this post Cassandra! We have had a no phone at the table rule for quite some time, but when we made the switch, it was HARD! I still struggle with checking it during school, and am really trying to kick that habit. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
    Misty recently posted…Simple Ways to make Dinner Time a Family AffairMy Profile

    • So glad to hear you struggle with yours during school. I do the same sometimes. I will look just for blogging purposes (at least that is my excuse) and then before I know it I got sidetracked. I will have to find a new way for that! Thanks for the comment!

  • Great blog! I think it’s so hard sometimes in the world we live in to remember it’s not all about everything going on outside in the world around us. We have to sometimes bring it back, remember our own little ones are only going to be this little so song, and think about what kind of examples we’re setting. What kind of memories will they have when they grow up? Will they remember dinners at the table and lots of laughter, or will they remember parents that were so wrapped up in our devices or working from home that they didn’t have time to read a story? I know that’s something I struggle with. It’s about balance! Keep up the good work!!
    Melissa from allforhimblog.com recently posted…Aldi 9/24 Best DealsMy Profile

    • Thank you! Boy, I struggle still. It is so hard. I find myself just sitting there glued some days saying “just a second” over and over to those tiny little “mommies.” It is heartbreaking how caught up we can become. It is a daily battle.

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