Prayers of Honesty

I had just left my sister-in-law’s house and was driving home thinking about the encouraging and godly conversation we had during Girls’ Night. As my thoughts drifted, I began thinking of another family situation which has been a difficult one.

I decided long ago that when a person or a situation comes into my mind like that, I would stop thinking to pray right then for whatever it was. Therefore when this other family situation came raging into my thoughts, threatening to take away the joy of friendship I had been praising God for moments earlier, I began praying.

Prayers of Honesty

My prayers quickly went from, I dont know what to do, God, to PLEASE SAVE THEM!

My prayer became one of fervent urgency. I cried aloud to my God, with boldness and strength and pleaded with Him to show His glory and power in their lives.

Then I realized that it was the first time I had prayed about the situation with such passion. As I thought on that, I became convicted that while I prayed about it before, and while I always tried to follow Christ’s leading and pursue righteousness, in my heart I had doubted that He would actually work.

I believe in the God who created everything from nothing. I believe in the God who raises the dead. I believe in the God who uses the lowly for some major displays of His glory. And yet, in this particular situation with this particular family, I have not believed that He will redeem things. I’d long ago lost hope that it would get better. I have been apathetic and depressed as I have seen the situation get worse over time.

In that moment, with the conviction laying bare in my heart, my prayer quickly changed to streams of tears and confession. I confessed my unbelief in God’s goodness in the situation. I confessed my unbelief that God really cared. I confessed that I had been pessimistic toward God’s ability to do change things. I confessed my unbelief in their redemption, as if anyone is outside of God’s reach.

I cried out for God to forgive my unbelief and also to heal my unbelief.

As my prayer ended and the tears ceased, I became so thankful that God would use those moments of raw honesty to reveal where my heart was at. I had hardened my heart in the name of self-preservation without even knowing it. It felt so good to be honest and come clean with the Lord who knows it all anyway.

I am reminded of David’s countless prayers revealing his heart’s despair. Oh, how God uses those moments to strengthen and encourage our hearts toward greater trust in Him!

“To you, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit.  Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.” Psalm 28:1-2

Holly from The Brown Tribe

Holly currently lives in Nebraska with her amazing & godly husband, sweet & smart 4-year old daughter & joyful 2 year old son. She is a stay-at-home mom who serves with her local MOPS group, and on her church’s Mission Leadership Team for missionary support. She writes at The Brown Tribe for the purpose of discipling and encouraging women and mothers. She is also a contributor for Missional Call. In her spare time she enjoys coffee, photography, exploring the culinary craft, helping combat human trafficking through awareness and is currently writing her first book. You can follow along with Holly on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, google +,  and Instagram

4 comments to Prayers of Honesty

  • Wow, I can relate to this post. Sometimes situations can seem impossible for me to comprehend a “fix” for, but God’s not limited by time, space, my understanding of how He works. And I am so grateful for that!
    Thank you for this great reminder that we can trust God, no matter what! Stopping by from Grace & Truth.
    Rebekah recently posted…Better TogetherMy Profile

  • This is so timely for me, Holly. I am convicted that I have been a bit less fervent in my prayers lately regarding things that have “just been that way” for as long a I can remember. Thank you so much for letting God use you. This spoke volumes. Love you, friend!
    Kaylene Yoder recently posted…Encouraging Him to RomanceMy Profile

  • Isn’t it funny how God gives us exactly what we need to be pressed deeper into Him?! I’m grateful that my experience with fervent prayer and how God revealed my own heart, has touched you. Thanks for the kind note, sweet friend!
    Holly Brown recently posted…When a Wife Feels UnlovelyMy Profile

  • Katina

    Just this morning I wrote on my hand “pray”. I wanted a reminder to pray about a similar situation that you have described here only it’s a long time friendship! Thank you for such a great post! I love Nebraska and call it “home.”

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