See Mom Run

See Mom Run

I have been running a lot lately…

No, not the kind of running that wins you a medal. Not the kind of running that fulfills your New Years goals!

I have been running away a lot.

When life gets to be a little too much, I run. I run straight to my room or the floor of my girls closet or to the shower. When I get there I lose everything in me. I cry out because I have nothing else to give.  I yell in frustration because once again I am in over my head.

Just this morning, I had split up fights, pulled sawyer out of cabinets and asked for obedience one too many times.  I couldn’t take it anymore. As my husband walked into the girl’s room, I stood there clapping my hands louder, speaking more forceful with each word, demanding that the room get cleaned. It felt as if no one was hearing me, yet inside, my soul was SCREAMING OUT!

I walked past my husband, said “I need to get away” and then….I RAN.

I ran to my bed, put the covers over my head and cried out to the only one who really knows what I am facing. I laid my heart before the only one who truly sees what’s inside and I pleaded for strength from the only one who has it to give to me.

I apologize so many times to Him for not being able to do this thing, for being so weak, but His response brings comfort and lifts the weight I feel on my shoulders.  It is as if He literally lifts the pile of insecurities and to- do’s right off  so that He can fully wrap His arms around me as I so desperately need.

 

I  tell Him how bad I am at this. I explain to Him that I have to be ruining these little angels He gave me and I am only pretending to know what I am doing. Sobbing, I pour upon Him my deepest fears and unmet expectations.

He meets me right there in my imperfection with His grace.

He gently holds me and whispers His word in my ear.

So be strong and courageous!

Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.

For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you.

He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13

“For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:13

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

 

I quietly leave this room I ran to, stepping out of my hiding place and walk into the war zone again, but this time with a smile.

The circumstances didn’t change. There will still be fights to break up and curious one year olds to save from destruction. The difference is , now I have a peace that is far beyond what I can understand. I have strength that no man can give. Most of all, I have a reason to keep going and a purpose behind it all.

So, I am not ashamed of running.

In fact, I am thankful for the moments that bring me running to God because that is when I take off this torn and tattered super-mom cape and I let the arms of my Father cover me in His love.

If you find yourself running today, don’t apologize.  Just make sure you are running to the right one.

Take a deep breath, God has got this!

 

running to God 2

4 comments to See Mom Run

  • Jen

    I can relate, as so many moms can! I especially like the verses you included. “Be strong and courageous” has been a favorite of mine for the past several months now. And I seem to need near constant reminders that the strength must come from Him. I’m stopping by from IBN Facebook rejoin thread, and just had to take a look.
    Jen 🙂
    Jen recently posted…“One Word” DisappointmentMy Profile

  • Awesome and true! What parent and mama doesn’t feel like this!? We all feel like this at times and it’s okay! We all need a mental break, we strive and work hard. We have a lot on our plate. Empty or full, each day will change, but we got this! Why? Because we have Jesus!! I love how you always end in the arms and heart of Jesus!! I adore your words! You shine with realness and you and your kids are SO darn cute!! love, cindy xoxo to you!
    Cindy Hasko recently posted…Back To Blogging 2015My Profile

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

  

  

  

CommentLuv badge