The Day Mom Was Escorted Out

 

The Day Mom Was Escorted Out

Have you had that moment as a mom where you felt like a complete failure and everyone around you knew it? That happened to me just the other day when our local homeschool group had a field trip to see “Annie“.

As a young girl, I had a significant role in the play. I even had a solo!  Taking my girls to see this was huge to me and I could not wait for them to experience the magic. I had been singing “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” for a week so they would be impressed when they heard it and know momma knew her stuff!! There was one little set back… my son, now 15 months, was going to have to go with us. No biggie, I thought. I will load up the bag with snacks and a sippy cup.  I can totally handle this!

When we walked in, most everyone had been seated. They lead my little herd up to the balcony with a few other moms. At first I was disappointed we wouldn’t be closer, but I knew this may actually be better in case Sawyer decided not to participate…but that wasn’t going to happen!

The music began, the lights dimmed and my girls leaned in closer. Sawyer began to clap, beaming ear to ear!  Yup, this is going to be just fine! First song down, the girls were loving it and by the third song I was getting teary eyed.  What a moment to watch your children enjoy something that is full of memories for you. I kept leaning over to tell them “That is the part mommy played” or “That was mommy’s solo! ”  A moment I will never forget.

All too soon it was over though. About 30 minutes into the production, Sawyer decided he was bored. He started screeching out, clapping loud and trying to get out of my arms. When I tried to wrangle him closer, he screamed louder and when I let him walk, he would run off making me cause a scene trying to catch him. With this, the girls became restless and began to talk and wiggle. I stood up with saywer and started to walk with him behind where my girls were sitting but it was no help. Now they wanted to crawl under the chairs and come to me and see what I was doing.

I was completely overwhelmed but smiling as if nothing was happening. I was determined to get him through this play and prove that my mothering skills were superb. I finally got the girls back in their seats but Sawyer was louder than ever. I was stuck though. If I explained to the girls that I was going to step out and that we were leaving, my sweet but very high anxiety Ember would have lost it right there and how was I going to drag all three of them out, SCREAMING,  with only two hands?

The other option was to step out quietly without them seeing me but I had no way of making sure they were acting properly and what would happen if they realized I was not there. My anxiety started to rise and it got worse when I saw THEM coming!

By THEM I mean three of the theatre directors…Yup, seriously…they were coming for me. They asked me if I could please step out and when I explained I had two girls one lady very kindly but hesitantly offered to sit with them.

Then…they escourted me out.

All I could think was “I am THAT mom!” I can not believe this. Shame started filling my mind and my eyes began to well up with tears. What were they all thinking of me? Was he really that loud? How could I let it go this far? I am sure I ruined the whole show for everyone and now they are upset with me. Can I just get out of here without anyone seeing me?  As I followed my active little monster up and down stairs and around the theater floors I scolded myself over and over for how foolish I was to think I could do this, to think I could actually handle three kids this age at a play.

As my insecurity got stronger I felt God whisper “Don’t label yourself. You are not a failure, you are a mom who has a tough job and today was just part of that.”  I began to talk to Him about how embarrassed I was and how disappointed I felt.

Because I  read Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst several times I was able to recall some things I learned from  her. One statement she made was to identify the lie we are telling ourselves. My lie was that I was a failure or that every mom around me put me on the worst mom of the year list. All lies.

I loved in her book where Lysa said ” A messy closet does not make me a mess. It makes me a child of God with a messy closet.”  That fit right into this moment. A loud and active 15 month old BOY did not make me an awful mother. It made me a mom with a 15 month old BOY! Blessed but yet still very much learning this thing called motherhood.

In the end, the girls loved the play, other mothers were kind and encouraged me with their own stories similar to mine and I was able to break down a wall of insecurity in my heart and mind. I can not say that I will not be embarrassed again when my children act less than perfect or when other mother’s are watching as I look to have no control ….because let’s face it, this wasn’t the last time something like this will happen!

But I do know one thing, I have a God full of grace who so gently places his hand on me in these moments to remind me, ” You are doing just fine. Breath and enjoy the ride. It will be over all too soon.”

16 comments to The Day Mom Was Escorted Out

  • Amy

    Wow – seriously a beautiful and inspiring story!! Especially loved the part about the messy closet. Thank you so much for this!!
    Amy recently posted…Beauty in the Little ThingsMy Profile

    • I love that part too! The moment I read it at the beginning of the year it hit home big time. I know I have a problem with labeling myself and that really put it in perspective for me. Thanks for reading!!

  • Mommy moments, huh? I’m no mom yet but most moms I know say it is hard (as I’ve read in your blog), but just cherish it. Before you know it, they’re all grown up. And you’re right, you’re doing just fine.
    Lux Ganzon recently posted…Ramblings: It’s One Of Those DaysMy Profile

  • Oh wow! I have SO been there!! I’m sorry 🙁 But in reality it is one of those moments. The ones that shape our mothering. You handled it very well <3
    Misty recently posted…I Can’t Homeschool Because….My Profile

  • Oh…that’s terrible! I have been there before though…so many stories of stares, or having to leave a place early, or excuse myself, etc. etc.
    I guess it’s part of raising our children 🙂 Part & parcel. But eventually (we hope!) they learn and things get easier as they grow. I have a teenager now that used to give me SO much trouble in public, now quite a young gentleman when we go out.
    Thanks for sharing, Rachael @ http://www.parentingandhomeschoolinginfaith.com

  • Oh, I love your stories, Cassandra! You always turn the negatives into positives. I love how you allow God to fill you with grace. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing and linking up with the #SHINEbloghop!
    Kristy recently posted…Top 15 Baby Items for Months 3 & 4My Profile

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  • Jen

    This kind of thing happens to me regularly and I generally am inclined to believe that it is a result of my ineptitude as a mom. A couple of weeks ago, I was really struggling I this area when on Monday my 5-year-old got in trouble at school for hitting another child (he had also bitten another the week before playing “Tiger”); on Wednesday my 8-year-old daughter’s teacher sent a “behaviour notice” home when she pushed a boy in her class who insisted on repeatedly roaring in her face despite her requests for him to stop and later dropped to the ground to roll around and play “kitten” during social studies; and on Thursday I met with the school psychologist and learning support team to examine the possibility that my 12-year-old has Asperger’s Syndrome and then, on the same day, was informed by my 5-year-old’s teacher that my 10-year-old had been disrespectful to her at recess (he felt he was defending his little brother and that the teacher was yelling at the him and being unfair). I found myself wondering how, when I was pouring more of myself into being a mother to these kids than I ever had into anything I have ever done, I could possibly be messing them up so badly. I knew perfect basket cases who were managing to raise great kids, how could I be missing something so many other people seemed to instinctively “get”? Anyway, the next couple of weeks have been better, that storm has passed and I thank-you for the encouragement to get through the next one, because I know it will come.

    • Oh man, I am so sorry all of the above happened to you! Being a mom is so rough and we are harder on ourselves than an other! So thankful the storm has passed and you are right, you will go through another one. I love something I have heard for years but just truly understood the other day. God is our anchor in the storm. If you think of a boat and an anchor holding it still in the water, that is how we are in the middle of our storms in life. We are in the middle of the storm but we are kept still and safe with God as our anchor. It was so encouraging to me. Funny how the older we get, the more alive the word of God becomes because we understand the trials of this life more deeply and our need for Him! Thanks so much for visiting my site and for your comment!

  • Oh Cassandra, our kiddos are grown and well let’s just say there’s not enough room for me to share the number of times I was “THAT” mom. God’s grace covered my messes and everyone survived. I love your attitude. You’re doing a great job mom!!
    Deb Wolf recently posted…What Happened in Our Year of Intense PrayerMy Profile

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