Valentine’s Survival for the Hopeless Romantic

 

Valentine's Survival for the Hopeless Romantic

Ever since I can remember I have loved the thought of hearts and kisses and walks on the beach. I adore dressing fancy, getting flowers and all that comes with being “wooed”.

Hello, my name is Cassandra and I am a hopeless romantic!

While every other kid enjoyed making the valentines, I was more excited about what a boy would write in mine.  Would he tell me I was pretty, would he give me a flower, would he ask me to be his valentine?

A dream of mine was always to have a secret admirer!

Unfortunately, that never happened and honestly, I can only think of one real valentine I received from a boy before I met my husband. (of course I saved it!)

After getting married I assumed this was when my prince would shine. From this point on Valentine’s Day would be special and full of romantic dinners with surprises along the way.

As you can imagine, I was disappointed.

While my husband loves me very much and tries to bring romance into the relationship, he may never be able to measure up to my expectations.

AND…LIFE, it happens. Now there are kids and jobs and money to consider.

Working in the restaurant business, my husband almost always works Valentine’s night. I remember the first year I sat at home alone. The night was spent sulking that I was the ONLY wife without plans for my evening. This wasn’t at all what I had hoped for.

After being miserable that year, I decided I wouldn’t allow myself to do that again. So I chose to really re-evaluate my expectations and idea of what Valentine’s Day should look like.

Who says a day about love should be only for couples? Love fills our homes and I think we should celebrate every form of love we are blessed with.

Also, who says it has to be a dinner date or flowers and chocolates on February 14th? Why not show your love in the way that works best for your situation and that speaks your spouses love language on the day that works for you.

So, here are a few ideas for the hopeless romantic like me to survive a holiday that can bring much disappointment:

  • Take the whole week or month and show your spouse how much they are loved.  Whether it be love notes on the bathroom mirrors or their favorite candy strategically placed for them to find, make it about them and not just the day.
  • Celebrate LOVE. Don’t limit it to the intimate love between you and your sweetheart but bring in love for your children or a family member. Take some time to show them what you love about them. One of the best ways to do this is to spend some extra time with them. Give them your time. For example, the girls and I are going to spend some time baking in the kitchen. We always have a blast in there and who doesn’t love valentine’s treats?!
  • Take the focus off of YOU. This special day was always about what I wanted or how I expected to be loved. Reading above, you will notice I sounded pretty selfish and while I do deserve to be pampered and celebrated, that should never be my focus. When you let yourself get into that rut, no one can ever meet the mark. Instead, focus on others.
  • Don’t give up on romance! Bitterly, I had decided that since Valentine’s night was just a big disappointment and everyone else obviously was more loved than me, I hated this holiday. Don’t do that. Don’t miss out on a little fun. No, Valentine’s isn’t a  day in history that change the world but it’s still a good opportunity to make an extra effort to make sure your spouse knows you love them. You don’t have to spend money, plan a huge event or recreate your favorite Romantic movie in order to enjoy a little romance. Take time out to go a little above and beyond to add a little spice to your day.

So, if you are a hopeless romantic, like myself, and find yourself in the dumps…

stop.

Go out and make it what you want it to be. Create a tradition or try something you’ve never tried. If you find yourself alone that night, treat yourself! You be your valentine! Or, why not find another woman who’s alone and spend the night together! If your spouse isn’t quite as obsessed with all the hype that comes with the day of love…give him grace! Accept the differences and celebrate what you do share…LOVE.

 

4 comments to Valentine’s Survival for the Hopeless Romantic

  • OMGosh, yes. It took me several years into my marriage to wake up about my expectations. My husband is not naturally romantic. At least, not in the way I dreamed of being romanced. I decided to turn it around and make it about GIVING love on Valentine’s Day – to my husband and to my children. I try to plan a beautiful dinner, and little treats sprinkled throughout the day.

    It gives me so much pleasure. And sometimes he remembers to bring me flowers. 🙂
    Nissa recently posted…Old Fashioned GirlMy Profile

  • There were times when I was alone on Valentine’s Day years ago and I still made a nice romantic meal with candles and a glass of wine for myself. I think it’s good to be able to love yourself first and then share it with others!
    Tina Marie recently posted…Family Style LasagnaMy Profile

  • This is a refreshing reminder that love is for every day – not just “Valentine’s Day”! You give great realistic and encouraging advice on living in love!

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