You’re Making Me Uncomfortable

 

 

You're Making Me Uncomfortable

Isn’t it funny how when life gets just a little bit comfortable, things seem to change? You may not have that experience in your life, but it seems to be the story of mine.

I like comfort. I like schedules and reliability. If it were up to me, I would stick to a routine that remained the same each week. I would change up the days of course. Maybe we would make Monday cleaning day and Tuesday would be for errands. Maybe Wednesday would be for creating and crafting…you get the point.  I am learning…I like to be in control.

Since the day I got married, life has never been reliable or consistant. For example, the morning after we returned from our honeymoon, we woke up with a call from the pastor of the church where my new groom was youth pastor. He was calling us into the office to inform us he had resigned and we were now the only ministers there! We went from comfortable youth pastors to many other job titles on our plate. It was not easy, yet we learned a lot about ourselves.

Little instances have come up throughout our marriage like this.  I have had my share of questioning God’s plan, trying to grasp at any tiny trinket of control I could get my hands around or just completely shutting down under the pressure.

Through God’s grace, I am learning to welcome the change, the unfamiliar and the discomfort. Before you think I am a strong Christian women, let me rephrase that…After freaking and shedding the “ugly face” tears, I put my big girl panties on and THEN I remember to welcome the change, the unfamiliar and the discomfort!!

I am learning these are lessons from God that bring me closer to Him. In times of complete fear, I have come to Him and He has given me comfort, peace, grace, love…the list goes on and on. When I am at a place where my own control is nonexistent, my eyes are opened to a Father who I can put my hope in and who is the only one my trust is secure with.

If it weren’t for these valleys of totally chaos that turn my life upside down ( or so it seems) these attributes of my God would not be revealed to me in such a real way. I wouldn’t go from knowing about Him to really experiencing Him and when you EXPERIENCE Him, you can’t help but be drawn closer to His heart full of everything you will ever need!

This month, once again my family’s life was brought to a turning point. When it came I was probably the most happy I have been. My walk with Christ was growing deeper than ever, My imperfect marriage was becoming more intimate in every way, my children were excelling in homeschool and most of all…I LOVED my new home we had started renting just 10 months before. It was everything I could have asked for!

When getting the call the fall of 2013 that we would be moving to Louisiana for my husband’s promotion, another moment where I had no control and everything was changing, I began to pray that God would bless us with a home that we could love. He did just that and more. We were able to rent a home that was HUGE to us and met all the needs we had. The kitchen was gorgeous and full of cabinet space ( and yellow!!). The rooms were great sizes, the floors were hardwood and best of all, there was a very large extra room right off the kitchen called the “great room.” Perfect name for it because it was GREAT!

After 10 months of being blessed with this home, through circumstances out of our control, God has us on the move again…Literally. Our rental home is on the market to sell and in order to keep from having to move through the holidays two years in a row, we will be moving by the end of the month.

I was a mess when I found out. I was angry, confused, shocked and heartbroken. This home was everything I wanted. It was perfect for our schedule. My girls even tell family and friends how much they love the “Liziana” home. What was God thinking? We were just fine here.

I WAS COMFORTABLE!

Anxiety began to rise but I quickly got my support sisters on the job of praying! By that evening, I was talking to my Heavenly Father about how much this hurt, how out of control I felt but that I truly trusted Him. He so gently reminded me that every time He has moved me it has been closer to Himself. With each uncomfortable stage in our lives we have only come closer to His perfect plan for us which in turn made our joy more full.

Through this process I have found myself unable to control my fears and questions but again I run to the comfort and trusting arms of Jesus where I don’t always find answers but without fail, I find promises. Promises of hope, victory, success and His love.

So, as I write this, infront of me are half taped boxes scattered across the floor waiting to be filled within the next 2 weeks. God led us to the first home we stepped foot in off of craigslist and it is adorable. It is less than a block from church, in a very safe neighborhood and the landlords are very kind Christian people with three children of their own.

It may not have the “GREAT” room I love so much and that has served such a perfect purpose in our schooling.  It for sure will make me have to scale back on my kitchen appliances and utensils BUT, It is everything we need. You know how I know? Because God has never brought us somewhere that we didn’t have everything we NEEDED.

Life will be a bit crazy the next few weeks and a new schedule with routine will need to be made. That is ok. As I said, from the day I got married, LIFE has never been reliable or consistent but there has never a day gone by that MY GOD has not been! God has a plan. God is in control and comfortable isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be anyway!

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